Ga kerasa udah 3 bulan kuliah and i'd like to share a short story of mine. 3 bulan yang lalu saat status saya sudah jelas akan kuliah dimana, banyak yang mempertanyakan pilihan saya misalnya ada yang bilang "ngapain di ____ ?" "lo nyasar di ___?" " kenapa ga ke ___ atau ___, yang lain aja kali!" well dalam menghadapi pertanyaan itu jujur saya merasa sangat tersudutkan sampai-sampai saya sendiri udah ga mood untuk ngejelasin duduk perkaranya dan alhasil hanya menjawab dengan cengiran kesal. Tapi kali ini saya mau share semuanyaa. Kenapa saya kuliah di WIDYATAMA (proud to mention it now) karena saya ga keterima di ITB (jujur) dan ga mengikuti tes SMUP UNPAD karena dilanda penyakit pada saat tes dilaksanakan. Loh terus kenapa ga UNPAR or MARANATHA? my answer is simply = against my belief, jadi all clear ya? masalahnya saya sudah membaktikan diri dan berharap dapat terus meningkatkan kerohanian tapi apa jadinya kalau saya menuntut ilmu di institusi yang sudah berkali-kali tidak dianjurkan di setiap kebaktian (walaupun itu masalah hati nurani, for me its a serious thing - yang abu-abu itu resikonya lebih tinggi) apalagi kalau udah masalah sandung menyandung rekan seiman, saya sudah tidak mau ikut campur tangan. Nah, sampailah saya pada masa dimana saya benar benar bingung menentukan pilihan antara ITENAS dan WIDYATAMA, kalau di ITENAS saya tetap mau ambil desain, kalo di WIDYATAMA saya mau ambil manajemen. Seminggu pusing memikirkan dan terus berdoa akhirnya saya menemukan jawaban yaitu WIDYATAMA, kenapa? karena saya merasa desain prospeknya sempit terus kerjanya lebih banyak freelance dan saya tipe orang yg mau kepastian dalam menerima pemasukan per bulan. Kakak saya pun lulusan WIDYATAMA dan saat saya menanyakan pendapatnya, dia pun mendukung keputusan saya. Yasudahlah saya langsung daftar - tes- keterima- daftar ulang- ospek- kuliah deh. Saya puas sekali karena ternyata doa saya terjawab, jadwal kuliah saya sangat memungkinkan untuk meluangkan lebih banyak waktu dalam dinas, terharu dan tersentuh akan segala berkat yang Yehuwa berikan. Walaupun tidak sesuai keinginan (i never thought about enrolling to Widyatama before) tapi memuaskan hati saya. Saya tidak peduli apa kata orang yang penting saya sebisa mungkin mengikuti pengaturan yang dibuat oleh organisasi. Sebenarnya sempat terpikir untuk menganggur selama 1 tahun dan merintis lalu mencoba kembali pada tahun berikutnya tapi setelah berdoa dan tanya sana-sini saya menyimpulkan "merintis pilihan terbaik dalam hidup, tapi harus dengan motif yang benar baru dapat menghasilkan sukacita" laaah orang motif saya adalah untuk mengisi waktu selama menganggur 1 tahun (jujur bangett ya? hehehe) pasti yang ada merintis menjadi kewajiban. Memang sulit di Bandung ini untuk melanjutkan pendidikan ke institusi swasta yang tidak berada di bawah naungan Babel Besar. Tapi tidak ada penyesalan dan kegelisahan dalam hidup saya merupakan berkat terbesar dari Yehuwa. Sekarang saya bisa tenang dan fokus untuk melayani.

I liked him a lot, he was my first crush or cinta monkey. Can you imagine fall in love with someone for 5 years? He's the first boy I was so afraid to lose, the boy that changed me, changed my expectations, change the way I looked at myself and the world. People often says that the first time you fall in love, it changes your life forever, and no matter how hard you try the feeling never goes away. For me first crush is a little foolish and a lot of curiosity.

Something always brings me back to you. It never takes too long. No matter what I say or do I'll still feel you here, 'til the moment I'm gone. You hold me without touch. You keep me without chains. I never wanted anything so much than to drown in your love and not feel your reign. Set me free, leave me be. I don't want to fall another moment into your gravity. Here I am and I stand so tall, just the way I'm supposed to be. But you're on to me and all over me. I live here on my knees as I try to make you see that you're everything I think I need here on the ground. But you're neither friend nor foe though I can't seem to let you go.The one thing that I still know is that you're keeping me down.

Sara Bareilles - Gravity

bisa gila juga ya ngeiliat orangnya ada disitu, berpapasan, ngobrol ama yg disebelah kita tapi tanpa mengucapkan sepatah kata pun ke kita. soo childish tapi mau gimana coba?? udah awkward! rasanya bukan sama dia lagi dan ga mau sama dia lagi. banyak yg sampe sekarang masih beranggapan kalo saya masih cinta mati sama dia tapi kenyataanya saya sama sekali ga ada feel sama dia walaupun memang ada certain times merasa kehilangan sesosok pujaan hati ini. Just so you all know, i have no feeling for him anymore!

2 Years Ago kita maen aja terus bareng"... nomat teroos, makan terusss, maen kerumah ella terus ketawa ketiwi ngomongin spongebob atau apalah. Soooo many things we've done together, things that i thought would be last for forever or at least till now.

NOW!do you even know meeeeeeee???!!! well that kind of expression and reactions are not for someone who you already know. Even its hard to say, but thank you because you make the feelings goes away. You don't know how hurt it was to see you but no words came out from your mouth. AWKWARD!! I both lose a friend and brother today. But no matter what, kita tetep sodara seiman yaaaa ......

No. Peserta PMBP-ITB 2009 anda : "091001008"
Anda tidak diterima sebagai mahasiswa ITB melalui PMBP-ITB 2009 Terpusat
Means : ITB doesn't want me.

My eyes were hurt when i saw this but my heart weirdly accept and ready to move on about it. Goodbye for my holy trinity and hello reality which include study harder.

I hardly can remember when was my last post.
Well just so you guys know, the beloved national exam has passed away and so did my holy trinity exams. I'm in the verge of both happiness and craziness because i finally can do whatever i want to do but there's gonna be a road bumps ahead. My national exam's result is a week ahead and will be follow by ITB's result. For my national exam, i can say im pretty stress out but as for my ITB's result, all i can say is that ITS A MIRACLE IF I GET TRU!
Need y'all supports and prays. Thankss ...

Seriously cowook jaim itu disgusting! hahahha . How can a guy acts like that? For me, men are the most insensitive human in this world but why and how can i meet this guy?? He happens to be sensitive guy especially when he's around annoying or crowded places. He can shout to WOMEN or says some jumble words that will stick right tru our heart if he dislike our actions. It's 2009 and i watched Lipstick Jungle! Women are now wearing stiletto that can step on men's head, so be careful and learn some from us. Even so, women are the "you have to understand us" creature but now i think i switched place with this guy. One thing i hate the most is his facial expression, he shows it all from his face, when he gets mad, when he gets sad or when he gets annoyed ewww that thing came from underage woman like me but he is a man and he's not even an underage. I (well not just me but all of his friends) should understand what he wants. As a friend i would stand this, but i think i don't need a friends who doesn't accept who i am or my friends is. We are annoying and so what????!!!

This week is all about craziness. On Monday to Wednesday i have to face up the tryouts for final exams. On Saturday, tryout from GO is coming up. On Sunday tryout from Vilmer will beat me up. Argghhh i need to stop all of this things. Please finals....can i skip you?

If I die tomorrow, there will be people who have totally different memories of me. To one person I might be the bitch who thought she was better. To another person I might be the ugliest person on this planet. To her I might be the gorgeous, lucky girl who she despised because I was spoiled rotten. To another girl I might be the girl who got really good english grades, so jealousy erupted. To him I might be the girl with the annoying laugh. To another guy I could be remembered as the girl who wasn’t anything to him. Maybe I’ll be remembered as the girl who was always on her phone. But none of that matters. You know why? By my best friends I’ll be remembered as the girl with the contagious laugh and the girl they would go to if they ever needed anything. By my family I’ll be remembered as the most amazing and beautiful girl. But most of all, I’ll be remembered by my enemies as the greatest thing they couldn’t add up to.

Jealousy is simply and clearly the fear that you do not have value. Jealousy scans for evidence to prove the point - that others will be preferred and rewarded more than you. There is only one alternative - self-value. If you cannot love yourself, you will not believe that you are loved. You will always think it's a mistake or luck. Take your eyes off others and turn the scanner within. Find the seeds of your jealousy, clear the old voices and experiences. Put all the energy into building your personal and emotional security. Then you will be the one others envy, and you can remember the pain and reach out to them.

The Old Year has gone. Let the dead past bury its own dead. The New Year has taken possession of the clock of time. All hail the duties and possibilities of the coming twelve months! Cheers to a new year and another chance for us to get it right!

I know its to late to celebrate or greetings. But i didn't and don't celebrate or greetings, its inappropriate according to the bible. But today is 2009 and everyone try to fulfill their resolutions. I do think New Year's resolutions can't technically be expected to begin on New Year's Day, don't you? Since, because it's an extension of New Year's Eve, smokers are already on a smoking roll and cannot be expected to stop abruptly on the stroke of midnight with so much nicotine in the system. Also dieting on New Year's Day isn't a good idea as you can't eat rationally but really need to be free to consume whatever is necessary, moment by moment, in order to ease your hangover. I think it would be much more sensible if resolutions began generally on January the second or third or fourth hahahahaha. It doesn't take a New Year to do something right and good to yourself. It only takes one thing "determination" or maybe "discipline". Ciaaooo!